How Everything I Ate Turned Green

Green Lifestyle


If you’re an even relatively astute reader I am sure you will have noticed the lack of a recipe over the past few days. I apologize. Somewhat.

I have a total of three separate recipes on the go which I am tweaking and perfecting until I like them so much I dance around my kitchen while I eat them. (Yes that is an actual requirement in my life. You should try it sometime.) All of that to say that for some reason the past week caught up with me while I wasn’t looking and left me scattered.

However, I realize that you dear reader would be at a loss without my cunning with and cutting wisdom. So. Here I am to inspire and awe yet again. Since I lack a recipe for the moment (but I swear to spinach that the next three recipes will leave you thanking me for making you wait) I have decided to tell you a little story.

Well, really its a big story. But I don’t really think any of you are going to sit through the entire thing so I’ve made it short.

You’re welcome.

I’ve mentioned multiple times how I spent the majority of my life sick, confused, depressed and in pain. That was my normal.

What I haven’t really told any of you is HOW I got to where I am now. (By now I mean WHY is it exactly that I am suddenly obsessed with green smoothies and how is it that I have the energy of a 3 year old hopped up on easter candy.)

I love researching (have I mentioned I hold a Bachelors Degree in English). So I’ve researched and read a lot in my life.


See as much as I value my body and what I put in it — I can only read so many things before I am bored out of my ever loving mind. I don’t do Paleo arguments. I can’t handle the constant contradicting facts that are always being thrown around about digestion, protien, and whatever other possible ploy being used to convert some innocent bystander to the newest diet religion.

And yes, I am aware I go by the moniker “Not Perfectly Paleo” please note the NOT PERFECTLY.

All of that was until I was watching Ted Talks as a way to avoid real responsibilities on the couch one day and I found her — the fount of my youth — the oracle whispering me my destiny — the goddess whose powers of perception cut through the last layers of my longing.

Alisa Vitti.

God smiled while creating this woman. No really, God was grinning from ear to ear and laughing maniacally while dancing around the God kitchen.

I’m sorry are you disturbed by that image? Get over it.

Alisa told me the story of my body — of its wonders and abilities. She told me the story of my hormones.


Don’t give me that hormones stare. I know we’ve all heard the tales from childhood about women and hormones. But guess what, men have them too. A lot of them. Do you know what hormones do? I didn’t think so.

You know that indigestion you had last night? Hormonally related. You know how you can’t seem to lose weight even though you lift and beast it in the gym five times a week? Hormonally related. Hormones are the language of life.

And see, like you I was living in this lala land of belief that hormones were like little pitchfork carrying demons running around my insides provoking fits of rage. Hardly. They are language your body uses to speak to itself.

Now tell me — if you knew the intricate language running your body was totally screwed up — you’d want to know how to fix it right? I thought so. That is where Alisa came in. Her simple and common sense explanation of my body and its optimal function gave me a hope I had honestly never had before. Ever. So I began to shift my thinking. I shifted small things.

Then I watched documentary on netflix about a man who changed his entire life with vegetables.


So I took a chance and decided to change my life completely. I started drinking green drinks. My body started changing. I started changing. I stopped eating meat. Magic happened. Or a miracle, choose the word you’d prefer. That isn’t to say that I am now capable of floating in a perfect meditative state, or that I leave trails of unicorns and butterflies in my wake — but I can feel my body realigning. I can feel strength, energy and vigor pouring into my core. I can feel myself coming to life.

If you’re wondering why you just read all of that — humour me. When your body refuses to function in the way you know it should. When your entire life is built around avoiding the things that make you sick instead of embracing the experiences that make life a living. When you would literally do anything to feel happy from somewhere deep within, from the very cells that you are composed of — finding something that WORKS FOR YOU — not just your neighbour or the blonde on television you want to talk about it.

Go in peace dear readers and keep hoping — you’ll find your answer.


2 thoughts on “How Everything I Ate Turned Green

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